Rekindling the Passion: How to Deal With an Inattentive Partner
By Greg Baer Is this you? Your husband doesn’t pay any attention to you at all. He doesn’t even hold your hand anymore. He doesn’t look me in the eye when we talk. You used to go dancing. You used to talk. Now you do nothing together, and instead he criticizes the way you do everything: the way you cook, the way you take care of your daughter, that you never want to have sex with him. You need a husband who loves you? What can you do? I’m sure you two were once madly in lovewhy else would you have gotten married?and I’m sure it just makes you crazy wondering what happened to those days, right? In order to be happy, what people need most is Real Loveto be cared for without any conditionsbut very few of us received much of that. Instead people liked us-praised us, thanked us, accepted us, treated us well, all that-when we behaved in ways they liked. Almost all of us have seen that from the time we were small children. And it’s only natural that people like us more when we do what they want, but it’s not Real Love. Without Real Love, we simply cannot be happy-anymore than we could live without air and waterso when we don’t have enough of it, we automatically reach out for whatever will make us feel good in the moment. And whatever we use as a substitute for Real Love becomes a form of Imitation Love: praise, conditional acceptance, power, pleasure (including sex), and so on. When you and your husband first met, there was an enormous trading of Imitation Love. You both just showered each other with every kind of attention you had to offer. But it was not unconditional love. How do I know that? Because the effects of what you were giving each other wore off-that’s the hallmark of Imitation Love-and you both became disappointed and irritated (other signs of Imitation Love). When you get to that point, the trading stops. It’s no fun anymore, so why trade? That’s all that’s happened with your husband. He’s not a monster. He’s not intentionally withholding love from you. He’s just gotten to the point where the Imitation Love you used to give him just isn’t as rewarding as it once was, and he’s not willing to pay for it. So he chooses to do nothing at all with you. He doesn’t consciously realize what he’s doing. He just knows he’s not happy, and in great part he blames you for that. After all, once upon a time you did make him happyat least what he thought was happinessand now you don’t. Pretty natural that he’d blame you for how he feels now. And you blame him. But it turns out that neither of you is to blame. What a relief, actually. Your relationship has gotten sour not because of what he’s done, or what you’ve done, or what either of you is not doing. Your relationship is failing because both of you came togetherfrom childhoodwithout enough of the one thing you absolutely had to have in order to be happy as individuals, and in order for you to have a chance at a healthy relationship: Real Love. If you want to blame someone, blame your parentsboth sets. They are the primary reason you don’t feel loved unconditionally. But remember that they did the best they could, too. If they failed to love you unconditionally, it was only because they weren’t loved unconditionally by their parents either. And on it goes. So the blamingof anybodyis a waste of time and energy. All that matters now is what you’re going to do next. And you need to learn to be more unconditionally loving. Learn more about unconditional love. As you learn to be more unconditionally loving, you’ll bring to him the Real Love he’s been missing his whole life, and that will create the possibility of miraculous changes in him. I’ve seen this happen over and over now, hundreds of times. As one partner learns to be loving, it makes all the difference to the other partner and to their relationship. Now, you might ask, why should it be you who has to change? Shouldn’t he be learning how to love you better too? Sure, but if you sit around waiting for him to change, you could be waiting forever. somebody has to take the first steps that change everything. Why not you? You now understand your relationship a lot better than he does. You know what steps to take next. So get started. Find the Real Love you need, and share it with your husband and others. You’ll be unbelievably glad that you did. Remember, it’s always about Real Love. The world is literally dying from a lack of the one thing essential for our happinessReal Love. We spend our entire lives trying to replace that unconditional love with praise, power, sex, money, entertainment, safety, and so on. But it never works, and the resulting emptiness and fear are almost too much to bear. We dont have to live like this anymore. Greg Baer and RealLove.com are teaching (1) the real cause of fear and anger and (2) how to find this Real Love that replaces the fear, anger, and conflict in our lives with peace, confidence, and genuine happiness. Dr. Greg Baer is the author of 16 books, DVDs, and CDstwo of which are internationally published by Penguin Putnam Groupand has presented the life-changing message of Real Love to hundreds of thousands of people all over the world. For more information on Real Love, including hours of free streaming video and audio, visit www.RealLove.com . Youll be grateful for the rest of your life that you took this step. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Greg_Baer http://EzineArticles.com/?Rekindling-the-Passion:-How-to-Deal-With-an-Inattentive-Partner&id=384225 unsecured personal loan regardless of credit guaranteed credit card no credit check bad credit real estate loan apartment hard money lender
